You make the rules and we will WRECK them

By Grizzly Michaels

Being the expert kicker that you are, surely (cue Leslie Nielsen) you know all of the new rules of the Wrecked Division.

Yeah, that’s what we thought.

More than likely your coach just told you, “Damnit’ Bobby, just be (insert field here) at (insert time here). Now let me finish my beer. That boy ain’t right.”

Well, if you are new to the division or just escaping the uber-competitive King of Kickball league (while Rick yells “are you not entertained?” as you run away) then let’s give you a look at the new and improved(?) Wreck Division.

Kicking:

You kick the ball for starters, so if you were looking for a spirited match of cricket then just walk away and we’ll pretend we never met. But, alas we have our first change that makes the Wreck different than King of Kickball.

It is now mandatory that your kicking order have a girl in between every guy until you are all out of girls.

So an easy way to remember that is:

1.     boy

2.     girl

3.     boy

4.     girl

5.     etc.

6.     etc.

If you only have four girls and then after your fourth girl kicks you can go all guys.

Pitching:

There are two changes in the pitching game this year. The first is that every single pitch must bounce at least twice before crossing the plate. So the days of one-bounce, overhand pitching is dead in the Wreck.

The second pitching changes requires that one of the girls pitches at least two innings each game. Doesn’t matter which inning, just has to be twice.

It’s in the name:

The major difference is that this league is supposed to be recreational. Meaning (fingers-crossed), there will hopefully be more laughter, less anger. More celebration and hopefully no ejections (we’re looking at you Pitch Please! OK calm down Celi. I’m just joking. I said calm…oww).

Moving on.

Now that you know the rules (come on, one more link you know you want to) you are prepared for the upcoming season. And even if you still don’t understand the rules, guess what you can still have fun.

That is what this division was made up for. The true kickball player. The one who likes his/her beer cold, team rowdy and most importantly … squirrel.

Does that mean this league is completely useless? No. There is still a championship at the end. Wreck will have its own playoff and maybe even a nice shiny trophy (looking at you commish).

And a championship is still a championship. So be proud but have fun.