Lights Out!

Written by: Rich "Compromise" Alvarez
Questions/Comments: metermanrich@gmail.com

The match up between the Pirates! and the Multiple Scoregasms started off as a fun affair. Both teams were pumped and excited to get onto the kickball field after two weeks of nagging rain outs. All players seemed in high spirits and as an umpire, I felt relatively comfortable that this game would go off without a hitch.


The game went through 3 innings of sobering, uneventful play; however that was until Eli Avila, of the Multiple Scoregasms, stepped up to kick. Eli was able to blast an absolutely devastating, base clearing, lights out, grand slam. And when I say lights out, I mean LIGHTS OUT literally! No sooner after the grand slam happened, bureaucracy reared its ugly head as apparently someone in the Parks Dept. forgot to extend the light timer to 11pm. What to do, what to do... Well after an hour of Three Stooges' eye-gouging and nose pulling, both opposing coaches grudgingly agreed to reschedule the game.

As it stands now, the score is Scoregasms 4 and the Pirates! with a big donut, bottom of the 3rd.